Monday, September 17, 2012

im aliveeee!!!


happy belated birthday, lia!
no, my subject line shouldnt suggest that i escaped from a near death experience. hahahah but i didnt write you guys yesterday because we changed our pday to today because we went to the temple today...!!! and it isnt opened on mondays, soooooo, get it? i was soooooooooooooo happy to go to the temple today, too becausse i havent been in over 12 weeks!!!! so today is very good for that reason. and i ate burger king for lunch!!!! hahahhaa mabes that isnt very cool for you guys, but it always pulls me back to my american roots and makes me soooo happy. but also, i ate a whopper and it made me remember those days when i was 7 years old and dad bragged that i could eat 2 whoppers?? wha wha whaaattt?? i could barely finish one... how in the world...? and i stiiiiiill have the little belly that i gained with those 7 years of mine. but it was still enjoyable. also, dad, did i really eat 2 whoppers? that is prettttty gross. eeeek!! 
also, this day is really great because the sun is out!!!!!! you guys have nooo idea. it has been sooooo gloomy for the past like 2 months. sometimes i think i have that one thing called SADS. is that what it is called? where you are sad from no sun? i havent been sad, exactly. but there is a huuuuuuuuge change in my mood when the sun comes out. spring is finally here, so we shoullld be seeing more of my wonderful friend, mr. sunshine. (hahahhahaa that sounds like something mom would say, huh?)
also, as you may see in some of the fotos i am sending, i have chubby cheekssssssss. welp, thats what eating rice and potatoes and chicken will do for you after 9 months. 
9 months. can you guys believe that i will be home in 9 months????' someone should get pregnant so that we can have a countdown together. any takers??? no no no--hannah and lia. no.
ahhhhhhh. what else what else.
oh!! yeah. okay, so luis has a baptism date for this 30th of this month. PLEEEEEEZ pray for him. actually, please pray for everyonnnneeeeeeeee. me and my compy are working ohhhhh so hard. and i have never felt so vulnerable. some of these people i have realllllly grown to love. a lotttttttttttttttttt. and knowing them better and where they come from makes it even MORE important to me that they accept the gospel because i can see how much it could change their lives. so, any prayers from annnnnyyyone are GREATLY appreaciated. 

also, i have been wayyyy constipated. hahhaha thats pretty gross to say "wayyy" before that. hahaha. another thang that rice and potatoes does for ya. and i had to get a little capsule thing put "up up and away" (if you know what i mean) so that i coulld go to the bathroom. it was really uncomfortable. but...it worked. oops. sorry if that was too much hahahha.

allllsooo i am attaching a couple of pictures for you guys. the first one is of our current pensionista, Nelly. she is really great and makes really good food. buuuut....doesnt use veggies. 
the second one is of me with these cute little brother and sister, Emelyn and Brylan. they are suppperrrr poor, but super happy. this day with them brought food to their house and cooked with them and their mom and older brother and fried fish together. wooo!! twas quite fun. and emelyn fixed my hair. 
and the 3rd one is of me with Jeffrey and Sol Maria, who are also brother and sister. they are less active, but are sooooo great!!!! we had an fhe with them. jeffrey always comes to lessons with us and so we bought him a friendship bracelte and now him and me and my compy have matching ones. hahaha.

and the last one is of today with the zone, eating burger king. wooo!!! 

i love you guys all SOOOOOOOOO  much and miss you a ton!! thanks for all your thoughts and prayers!!!

love, 

jill 





Monday, September 10, 2012

"Direct access to World of Warcraft!!!!!!!!!!!"


family!!!!!
im sooooooooo happy to be writing you guys. and, as for my subject line--you can thank the two guys that are sitting on each side of me. thank you "pandamonium" and other, who i havent had the pleasure of seeing your screen name yet. woooo!!! also, on my desktop, all ihave to do is clickity click, and iiiii can enter in, too!!! oh, and by the way. his name is "itaro20" hahhahahhaha oh man. toooooo funny. anyway...
you guys, i wish i could express to you howwwww happy i am with this change. being in a trio is nottttt where i like to be as a missionary, that is for sure. and now it is just hna. quispe and i. and i DID NOT enjoy the presence of my other companion, and so this week has been soooooooooo much more enjoyable with just the 2 of us. hna. quispe is reallly great and so far she is my most favorite compi. we both have the same goals about what we need to do to have more success, and it is sooooo great.
this week, however, something has happened to my back. what the? i dont get it. well... actually i do.  i was realizing how out of shape i was and i found a jump rope and this past wednesday i did a couple of little jumps until i realized that jumping up and down definitely wasnt making me feel less fatty--on the contrary, i could feel every ounce of fat that i have. and so i stopped because i was embarrassed .hahahhaha and hna quispe was laughing at me hahaha. but then i think that something happened in my back and i have been having shooting pains like never in my lifeeeeeeeeeeeeee. so today i am going to the doctor. eeek! wish me luck!! total will be good, no worries.
okay, so this week we have had the pleasure of meeting 3 little men who are just the greatesttttt. i love them sooo much! one is luis blas. we have been teaching him this whole week and we invited him to be baptized for the end of this month, and he said yes!!! he has 21 years. hahaha i mean he is 21 yrs old. and we met him knocking doors and he has turned out to be super great and is progressing nicely.
also, there is Jorge. jorge is 24 yrs old and he came to church a week ago because he works with a girl who is an RM and she isnt in our ward, but found the address and gave him the address to our chapel, and he came all by himself. and then yesterday he came agaiiinnnn and after church we met with him and he told us that his friend from work had shared some things about the church with him and he took interest in what she was saying because it was new information that were things that he had thought about before and seemed true. and he told us that he has felt really good coming to church. and we taught him about the restauracion yesterday and he was really receptive and we asked him that if he receives the answer to his prayer that these things are true, would he be baptized? and he said yessssss!!!! he said that his family is super catholic and that they dont know that he has been attending this church, but that he thinks that everything will be okay. and we told him that maybe his family wont respond well, too, but that God will make everything okay. he is sooooo great and so self motivated.
and the 3rd is Noel. (hannah...hahhaha) he is 21 as well. and we taught him for the first time last night too. he was a street contact and we gave him the book of mormon and  invited him to read the introduccion. and last night when we met with him we asked him if he had the chance to read some of the book, and he said yes. and then began to tell us that he was really enjoying it, and began to tell us everything that he had read and learned, and basically had read like the first 15 chapters!!!!! eeeeeek!!! can you believe it?! we were soo happpy!! i couldnt stop smiling. he is so great too.
i feel super privledged to be teaching these people. theyre all soooo so so so great.
we are teaching these 2 ladies Vilma, and Fania and they are both in the process of "receiving their answer to prayer" as to if this is the true chruch and if they should be baptized. PLEASEEEEEEEEE pray for them to receive the answer in a way that they can recognize and to have the faith to follow what they receive.
well family, i love you guys alll sooooooooooo much. and miss you soooooooo much. hey! im half way done. i´ll be seeing you guys in just 9 months. crazy, huh???
love,
hna jill

Monday, September 3, 2012

behind these things aliiiive!!!


hhhaahhaha so the subject line of hannah´s email was "here i am once again", which, of course, is from a kelly clarkson song, which got me singing that song, which then got me to remember how celeste used to sing it....which leads me to myyyy subject line. the song says, "behind these hazel eyes" but celeste said what my subject line says....hahahhahaha ohhhh funny.
okay on to other matters...
tomorrow we have changes again!! woooo!!!! i cant believe how fast each 6 weeks is going by for me. seriously. 7 changes left and i will be home. isnt that the craziest???? that is going to go by sooooooooooo fast. after tomorrow, only 2 more change meetings of the year. eeeeeek!
so if you are imagining that as i am writing this i have a lot of energy, you are corrrecccccct!!!!!!!! thanks to the liquid/powdered energy i recieved from you guys for my birthday, i now have  LOTTTS of energy!!!!! but i save if for those special occassions. like when i have migranes. for some reason i have been having migranes like alllllllllllll the time. i dont know why...  but i got some prescription migrane meds, so those help. and i have all kinds of caffeinated treats. yipeeee!!!  oh no. im rambling soo much. disculpe.
okay, so also, i am happy because one of my compis has a change!!! and it is the one that always gets offended!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yesssssssssssssssss. i must tell you guys that it has been extrememlyyyyyyyyyyyy difficult to live with her. and this past week, i may or may not have told her that. woops. mabes it wasnt the most christlike thing of me to do, but something had to be said. so i think we are all happy about the change. i think that the mission is bringing out the agressive side in me. and so i am practicing being assertive rather than agressive. hahahaha oh man. i wonder if i will have changed a whole lot when i get back. you guys will have to let me know.
okay soooooooooooo, what else. what else.
oh yeah--so we have been teaching this guy named oscar and he was going to be baptized this past saturday, so he had his interview on thursday night. then, after his interview, he asked me and my companions if he could talk with meeee in private. uh oh dopey. we said no because, of course as compis we have to be within sight and sound at all time. and he kept saying that it was something personal and just needed to talk with me about it. so we said, hey mabe you can talk to the bishop. and he said,no, i just need to talk with hermana fleming. hahhahaa  anyway, so after much deliberation, he decided to come out and say, " okay, well, im not very smooth with saying thiings like this, but... hermana fleming, im in love with you."  and when he said the love part, he got a little quieter. i immmmmediately looked down at my feet because i knew that if i looked at him any longer or at my companions i would lose myself to laughter.
hahahhahahaha it was one of the most awkward experiences. especially if you knew this little guy--and i say little with the most literal meaning possible.
also, i am attaching some pictures of this less active family that we have been teaching and visiting and they are FINALLy back active and it is the best best best feeling to have them at church. oscar didnt show up to his baptism i think because of embarrassment...oops. and so this family, the family Garcia, to help us feel better, took us out to dinner. you guys, they are superrrrr poor, and they took me and my 2 compis out to dinner!! they are the greatest and i really love this family a whole whole lot. they introduced us to a family friend who wants to know the church, so now she is getting the lessons, too.
ALSO. how could i forget???the apostle Elder Christofferson came and spoke to us, and the other 4 missions here in Lima this past friday and it was super super super great. man, the spirit in that room was superrrrrrrrrrrrr strong. i cant even tell you. it was a really great day.
we are teaching a lot of great people. pray for them that they can progress. i  never really share with you guys my testimony of these things...i think because i share it with people all the time. but there is not a doubt in my mind that the church that Christ established when he was in the earth with profets, apostoles, and the authority of God--the priesthood--has been restored to the earth, through another prophet, like in the times of the Bible. and because of him, we now live the blessings. we have the Book of Mormon, too and if we read and pray about the words found in that book, to know if they are true or not, we will gain a testimony that Joseph Smith was a prophet, called of God, and our testimony that Jesus Christ as our savior will increase. and anything that we read from the bible that isnt clear to us, will be made clear with the Book of mormon. and the same with the book of mormon--if something isnt clear from that, the bible will help us.
i am really reallllllllly happy to know these things. thanks for all your examples that have helped me understand these things better.
il ove you all andm iss you all sooooooooooo much!!!
love,
jill
p.s. the last pic is of my comp and our little lady that does our laundry. she is THE GREATEST. she cleans and dries, and irons and fold our laundry every week. i love her sooooo much!!! her name is Chela.





Monday, August 27, 2012

howdy howdy howdy

ohhhhhhh hi.
first things first. I GOT MY 4 BOXES!!!!! you should have seen me this past wednesday when the zone leaders were giving me the boxes. my smile was sooooo big and i clapped after they handed me every box. mabes to them it was obnoxious, but that is probs just because they are super jealous. right? and their looks of jealousness was like receiving another box all together!! hahaha just kidding. but for some reason, i did enjoy their envy. i have the best family, duh.   and i have been enjoying EVERYthing in each of the boxes. THANK YOU ALL SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH. ive been learning to share? the compis want me to share... so i have also been learning to say, "nooooo... this is a little toooo sacred to share. sorry. " hahahahaha woops. what can i say?
okay, so i am attaching some pictures of yesterday when we ate lunch with some of our investigators. Fania vends fish out of her house, fried fish, and this plate called Ceviche. it is crude fish but with this ammaaazzziiiing limey, spicey sauce and it is soooooooo good. we´re technically not supposed to eat ceviche, but if someone invites you to it, you cant say no...because you would offend. so we say yes and pray not to get sick. mwhahaha!! and it is soooooooooo goooooood.
so we have continued in teaching Maria Laura, and her son, Jose, and now her pareja...uhhhh how do you say that in english? her pair? the person she lives with. anyway. his name is Santiago. and they are all doing sooooo great. Santiago at first was like, nooooo i dont want to listen. and he had a lot of questions like he knew the bible really well, but then when he realized that we didnt want to argue, but just wanted to get to know him and help him, he calmed down and took a lot of interes in the lesson and now we are teaching all 3 of them!! and they all want to be baptized! they all feel that it will take a lonnnnnnng time to get to that point--they understand repentance. but we are trying to help them understand the faith more, too. maria laura is definitely the rock in the family and is progressing the best. but they are all reallly great. pray for them!!
also, we met Jeni. so we have been visiting this less active family in the ward here and there to try to animate them to come to church. and this week we had the feeling to go and visit them, but didnt really know why. so we went bla bla and then they were like, oh yeah. and one of our family friends is living with us. she´s not a member. so they introduced us to her and she has been wanting to know more about it all. eeeek!!! so now we are teaching her, too. and yesterday she went to church--and the whooollle inactive family as well. i couldnt stop smiling yesterday because of it. and jeni has a date to be baptized! 15 of september!! so pray that she will be able to keep progressing toward this day to be baptized :)
everything is soooo great. the companions...yah are hard at times. but i know im not alone and heavenly father is helping me. thanks for all your prayers i love and miss you all sooooo much!
love,
me







Monday, August 20, 2012

i have to go to the bathrooooommmm


so i have to go to the bathroom, like my subject says. but im going to try to not to think about that too much as i write you this here email.
thanks to alll of you who wrote me this week. twas the greatest, as always.
welp. another week has gone by. i cawn´t(british) believe it. im trying to remember what all has happened this week. hmmmm....
ok. so this week we have worked super super hard. both of the compis have been a bit sick, so the work hasnt been super great--but i feel as though my attitude about the mission has finallllllly taken a change for proactivity(?)(is that a word?) i feel as though before, i was allowing myself to be led by my 2 previous comps. because i didnt understand very well at the beginning and i haaaaad to just blindly follow. but then i think i got into the habit of just following and being passive about making decisions and what not. and so in the beginning of this change i was super stressed because the 2 companions were looking to me to make the decions and i wasnt used to that. and i think i may have slumped into a little bit of a depression for a bit because i was feeling super stressed. but now, i have been feeling more logical about things and ive realized how much i need to study preach my gospel so that iiii know for myself what needs to be going on and not rely on what others say. i pray all the time that we will be able to find the people who are ready to hear the gospel.
thats something else that has been difficult. -- so we are doing pretty well with talking with people and finding new people to teach. but to have people who are progressing and keep their committments--thatttss whats hard. in the end of lessons(most of the time) i feel that we explained well and the spirit was there(of course there is always room for improvement) and then we invite them to baptism, and no one is accpting!! we exteneded 4 invitations in the beginning of this week and NONE of them accpeted. so for that reason the week felt hard. BUT. the good news. on saturday we were teaching jose and maria laura. maria laura is the mom and is super great. she works as the serenazgo, which is like a rank below police, and her son is jose. jose is 23 and has had reallllllly serious problems with drugs in his past. but a while back he submitted himself to a rehab senter and decided that he had to change. and now he is back living with his mom and doing way better. but he is around some of his old friends and slips back into old habits at times. so his mom wanted us to talk with him(she´s nott a member) so that he could recieve some spiritual help. in the 1st 2 lessons maria didnt show much interest in listening and what there more of a support for jose. butttttt then on saturday we taught the restaruacion and she and jose were BOTH listening. super intently. and the part with the 1st vision, the spirit was SUPER strong. and both of their eyes were fixed on the picture of joseph smith in the sacred grove. and then at the end of the lesson, we invited thme to be baptzed, and they both said yes!!! finallllllly!!! and then yesterday we invited stefano--the cute(even though he scratches him self if you know what i mean), chubby, freckeled-faced, 12 yr old with glasses, who kind of resembles the chubby kid from big green--to be baptized for this saturday and HE said yes, too!!! haleilujah!!! now we just have to get permission from his mom...eeeek!!! but its soooo great to finally begin to see some the "fruits of our labor." so thanks to all you and your prayers. i know they are helping :)
i told the zone leaders about how i was feeling and how ididnt know what to do to help the pepole progress. and they told me that a lot of times we take for granted the power of prayer--that its US communicating with the all-knowing, all-powerful God. if we´re living faithfully, God will answer our prayers as specifically as we have asked him. so the compis and i fasted this weekend and boy oh boy! weve definitely seen the results already!! yayyyy!!!!
ok. so that is some of what has been going on. Also--
something i forgot to tell you guys about my sector--there are alwyas guys(usually drunk) who just stop and pee on a wall in the middle of the sidewalks. help. me.  when brandt was 4 he would have fit in quite nicely here, eh? hahaha only, brandt is cute. these little nasties definitely are notttttt. also, speaking of pee, yesterday we were talking to the patriarch, and he told us about this medicine he had to take one time that made his pee turn different colors. it was one of the strangest conversations...
well, that just about wraps it up for this week. also, one of my companions has the same stomach problem that my first companion had, and she had to get her stomach scoped today. wooo! i send my comps to the doctor??  yikes. sorry.
okay, well i love and miss you all soooooooooo much!!!!! love,
me

Monday, August 13, 2012

happy birthday to sarah and the twins!!

finallllllllly im writing you!! hahaha i love reading all of your emails so much that sometimes i forget that it is expected that i write you guys. hahaha i think sometimes i would just rather call each of you up on the phone to talk with you guys and tell you that way. yes, definitely. ooops. mabes im kind of lazy? but it is mostly because im just soooo tired. today we went to this place called Chosica (im attaching a couple of pics) and we hiked for a bit and were in the CLEAN unpolluted air (the kind of air that is NOT found in lima) and in the SUN!!! during the mayor part of august, there normally isnt very much sun, so i was VERY happy to be  in chosica today. but also, we had to wake up at 4:40 to go there. eeeeeeek. i dont think ive told you guys, but in my new sector, the air smells soooooooooo bad. there are allll kinds of factories in my sector, and sometimes i want to throw up when we are walking around. it is super super gross. and i always have boogers. too much?
so this week was actually really great and full of blessings. there had been some tension between my companions and i(mostly just with one of them.) and she would just be silent at times and make things uncomfortable for everyone and the spirit wasnt super strong during these times...AND WE HAVE TO HAVE THE SPIRIT. or we are worthless. so i had a bit of a "coach Jill Fleming" moment where i told them that as missionaries, we have to put our pride aside and communicate so that we can have the spirit with us, because if we dont, we are not only affecting each other, but the investigators, too. and girls are like that sometimes. stupid. and it turned into a big circle of truth where we could all discuss the things that had been bothering us in a loving, really great way. yay!! i cant even explain it, but it was realllllllly great. and now things have been sooo much bettter between all of us. i know that we will still have little bumps here and there, but at least we have a better foundation as companions. im learning howw important the relationships withe the compis are on the mission. 
also, during this little communication fest, i learned of a LOT of things that i lack. it was a little hard to hear, because to me, i feel like im doing sooo much better than i was in the beginning(which i think i am?) but it was super humbling because it made me realize that in our lives, we always have to keep improving. it never stops. something that the comps told me is that i sometimes it appears that i dont really care about the investigators very much. or about my compys, either. and you guys, it affected me way more than i thought it would. be it was really good for me to hear, because i think because i am a person who is more of an observer, and iiiii know how i feel about people, and i will tell people how i feel about them. but im learning that is more important to show my love for people. especially in this culture. it means a lot to the people. and also it made me think of different little talks that we have heard about it is super important to show our love to the ones that we love. so i have been praying a lot for that. 
also, i have been praying a lotttt for investigators who progress. that is something that i am finding to be difficult about being in charge of a sector is that i have to make the decisions with the people. and of course we are praying, but we dont have very many progressing investigators. you guys, can you pray for that? that we can have people who start to reallllly have strong desires to be baptized and to complete witht eh committments. and also that we will now what we need to share with them? that would be really really great. 
also, i must quickly tell you about one of our wondie investigators. her name is tiodo linda, and she is theeee funniest and cutest and greatest. i feel like i have a special plate in my heart for her because she also has a little bit of a stuttering problem like me when she gets excited about something and is telling a story. hahaaha she has a lot of desires to learn more and she loves the book of mormon. she is about 50 something and she is married and has 2 kids. she always has the funniest stories for us. like, she told us that it was really healthy of me to be drinking so much water, and then she said, "but sometimes its a bit risky..." and then she went on to tell us a story about how she peed in her pants one time when she was walking home and she showed us the way that she had to waddle home. hahahaha she is sooo great. and also, she crochets a lot of her clothes, so she always looks super cute and great. i hope to take a picture with her soon so that you guys can see her. 
wowwwww. this letter is sooooooooooo long. sorry. also, we have to get back to our room so im not going to have time to write each of you individually back this time. but know that i LOOOOVEEED hearing from each of you and i love you and miss you soooomuch. i read all of your letters with MUCH happiness every week. :) 
i love and miss you a lot! love, jill
p.s. i keep having this dream that i come early and i can speak spanish very well. hahhaha what does it mean???? i hope it doesnt come to pas.
p.p.s the pics i am sending are of my night birthday celebration when they smashed more cake in my face, and then egged and floured me. it wasnt as bad as i thought it was going to be. i was expecting pain, but it didnt even hurt. i just hope my fave shirt isnt ruined... also, there are pics of when i ate the fried fish, like the whole bod. and it was surprisingly tasty...heh. and then of a little bit of pics from the pday today at chosica. there was a waterfall too, but it was pretty small, so i didnt attach any of those. but there are some with my friends i think? anyway, i hop you enjoy! i love you all!!










Monday, August 6, 2012

happy birthday bolivia!!

no, im not in bolivia. hahahha im in peru. buuuttttt one of my compis is from bolivia,andshe told me that today is also the birthday of bolivia. go us! me and bolivia.
well family, this week has been real real great. and thanks for all the birthday wishes. seriously. they are the best. i love being remembered. hahhahaahah but seriously. i think that is one of the ways i like attention. eeeek!!
well like i said, this week has been great, and im going to fill you in on a couple of things that have happened this here week, aight?
first things first: this week i ate fried fish. but not just any fried fish. well, okay. it was just fried fish.BUT, basically how they do it here, is they just take the whole fish that the catch, and they but some batter on it, and fry it, body and everything. i couldnt believe it. and the head. and eyes!!! everrrrrrrryyyyyyything. so my plate consisted of 1 large fish(im not sure what type it was) and 5 little fishes that resembled eels, but they were small? i dont know what they were... but me and my plate spent the first few minutes just staring each other down (which can be taken quiiiiite literally because, well, there were eyes on my plate, still in the heads of the fishes) and my 2 companions were just crunching away like it was completely normal. and they told me, the head is the best part, you just have try it!! so......did i eat a fish head with eyes???YES. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i felt so inhumaneeeee. but....it was reallllllllllllllly goooood!!  i cant believe it. but it is true. so mom and pops, when i get home and fish, i just might have to prepare fish for you, the peruvian way. hahaha maybe. i cant imagine myself doing that right now, but mabes in a year i will change?
also, on saturday night we were soooooo tired and all of us just wanted to sleep. so 10:30 roles around and we are all snuggled in our beds, and we hear this procession of trumpets and big bass drums coming down, slowly, our street. and it is something that they do here, ok. there is this catholic church near our house and they have these little parade things where they carry around a saint and worship it. it is sooooo messed up. hahahhhaaha and they mnake soooooooooooo much noiiiiiiiiiiise. so as i was laying there, all i could do was just laugh hahaha it was such a bazare thing. idont know if i conveyed it very well, but oh well. haha
also, we recently met this lady named Kelly and she is realllllllllllllly great. hahaha like you, kelly. hah. he. anyway, we had our first lesson with her, yah, normal, and the spirit was definitely super strong. and then at the end, we asked her to offer the prayer, and she did, and in the middle of it, she started crying super hard and the spirit was superrrrr strong. and then at the end, she told us that might have cancer and she is also pregnant, and that she was thinking about getting an abortion, but now she isnt going to getone. and i was crying, too of course, b-c im a baby. anyway. it was all just reallllllllllllllly really great and wonderful and she is the greatest.
also, i attached some pics of my birthday stuff that has happened. it is a tradition here to push the face of the person in the cake, so that is what happened. and also, i it is a tradition to throw eggs and flour at the birthday person. fun? uhhhhh....i dont know. but supposedly tonight that is what is going to hapen at an FHE. so i dont know i feeel about that.... eeek. help. me.
anyway, i love you all and miss you all soooooooooooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!!
love,
me